Schizoanalysis I

I watch me be this other thing and never know
if I’m marooned or where the purple people go
then lily white matricide
from vicious words

it doesn’t leave a scratch
so therefore no one’s hurtThunder wishes it could be the Snow
Wishes it could be as loved as she can be
These gifts are here
for her
for you
for meAnd don’t you know
The nurses make it clear
Just when you’ve escape
you have yourself to fear
a restaurant that never has to close
Breakfast, every hour
it could save the world
<Tori Amos- Purple People>

The bling bang.

I need to know if I’m insane or merely incredibly intelligent

i’ve read a lot of deleuze and guatarri lately

i often notice that i’m radically different from the others

i can’t build affective bonds (i believe)

i only like sex because of power (foucault?)

[sometimes i fear the way philosophy, science and literature {art?} obsess me]

i think i didn’t grow up with judeochristian taboos, such as sin

but ethically japanese

but few things feel shameful to me these days

and those where shame is involved, i discard logically

because satisfying certain needs

(long term relationships

work

academic recognition

success)

goes against the basic principles i follow,

although fitting in and being normal is easier.

I’m scared of ending up in a bad trip

and of being interned while i’m still lucid.

This is a new beginning.